By Guest Contributor: Darielle Holland, Access Centre | Posted July 22, 2026
Imagine sitting in a doctor’s office waiting for your appointment. You’ve been experiencing intermittent chest pain for several weeks, and you’re worried.
Maybe it’s stress. After all, you were taught to push through difficult feelings and handle challenges quietly. But, part of you wonders if it could be something worse. Your father died of a heart attack at age 50, and your own 50th birthday is just around the corner.
At the same time, you’re dealing with severe lower back pain from a workplace injury that happened months ago. The pain has made it hard to stay active, and you’ve gained some weight as a result.
The doctor enters the room. You barely finish describing your symptoms before he stands to leave.
“We’ll run a couple of tests, but it’s probably just stress,” he says. “You should really take better care of yourself and get your weight under control. That would probably help your chest pain.”
As he walks out, you overhear him speaking to a nurse. “Let’s order an ECG and some blood work, but I think it’s all in his head. It’s a shame so many people these days let themselves become overweight.” You leave feeling embarrassed, dismissed, and misunderstood. If only he had taken the time to ask a few more questions.
We All Want to Feel “Seen”
Many of us carry a quiet fear of being judged. When we’re already vulnerable and seeking healthcare, that fear can feel especially intense.
Approximately one in fifteen Canadians report feeling stigmatized when accessing healthcare. For people in marginalized groups—including those living with substance use disorders, mental health conditions, obesity, racialized groups, or the elderly—the likelihood is even higher.
Stigma consists of negative assumptions, judgments, and biases that influence how people are treated. Sometimes it’s obvious: being told that your symptoms are “all in your head” or being labelled as drug-seeking before a thorough assessment has taken place.
More often, however, stigma is subtle. It shows up through minimal eye contact, dismissive body language, rushed conversations, or a lack of curiosity about a patient’s experience. These small interactions can have a powerful impact.
Instead of feeling like a safe place to seek help, healthcare can begin to feel like somewhere we stay quiet, nod politely, and avoid asking questions.
While we can’t transform the healthcare system overnight, there are practical ways to rebuild trust after negative experiences. By understanding the roots of stigma, reclaiming our role in our healthcare journey, and preparing ourselves for appointments, we can begin to navigate healthcare with greater confidence and self-advocacy.
What’s Really Going On?
It’s difficult to trust someone—or feel safe within a system—that reduces your health story to a label.
Terms such as “drug-seeking,” “lazy,” or “non-compliant” can leave people feeling dehumanized and misunderstood. Dismissive comments can cause us to question our own experiences and wonder whether we deserve help at all.
The truth is simple: everyone deserves to be treated with dignity, respect, and compassion when seeking healthcare.
Understanding Bias
Sometimes, understanding where bias comes from can help us let go of shame and gain perspective. It’s important to note that understanding bias is not the same as excusing it. Unprofessional behaviour remains unprofessional behaviour.
Healthcare providers are human. Like all people, they are susceptible to stress, fatigue, and cognitive shortcuts.
Many healthcare systems are understaffed, overburdened, and underfunded. Burnout is common. When people are exhausted, they are more likely to rely on assumptions and stereotypes rather than curiosity and critical thinking.
It’s easier for a burned-out brain to conclude that someone is unhealthy because they are lazy than to recognize the complex interaction of genetics, trauma, environment, mental health, socioeconomic circumstances, chronic illness, and countless other factors that influence health.
Consider someone who appears overweight. A provider might assume they simply aren’t exercising enough. In reality, that person could be living with an undiagnosed heart condition, chronic pain, or another medical issue that makes physical activity difficult.
Labels are often a reflection of the provider’s mental shortcut—not an accurate reflection of who you are.
As psychologist Wayne Dyer famously wrote:
“When you judge another, you do not define them; you define yourself.”
Before your next appointment, remind yourself that while you may belong to a particular group or demographic, that characteristic tells only a tiny part of your story. Any assumptions built around it are based on incomplete information.
The provider sees a snapshot. You know the whole story.
Change the Narrative in Your Own Mind
Most people feel vulnerable when seeking healthcare.
We may need to discuss deeply personal topics, undergo uncomfortable examinations, or place our wellbeing in someone else’s hands. I certainly don’t feel particularly brave sitting on an exam table in a paper gown waiting to be poked and prodded by a doctor.
Because healthcare providers have the specialized knowledge and authority that we need, it’s easy to feel powerless. We may begin to see ourselves as passive recipients of care rather than active participants.
But, healthcare works best as a partnership. You are not simply a patient. You are the expert on your own lived experience. One of the most powerful things you can do is shift the narrative inside your own mind.
Instead of thinking: “My body is failing me and the system is dismissing me.”
Try:
“I am facing a health challenge, and I am actively working to understand and address it.”
You may never trust every healthcare professional you encounter—and not every one of them will earn your trust. However, you can learn to trust yourself, advocate for your needs, and participate actively in your own care.
Practical Ways to Advocate for Yourself
Understanding stigma is important, but practical action is equally valuable. Here are a few ways to support yourself before and during healthcare appointments:
- Write Things Down
Before your appointment, make a list of symptoms, concerns, medications, and questions. Written notes help ensure important details aren’t forgotten, especially when you’re feeling nervous.
- Ask Questions
If you don’t understand a diagnosis, recommendation, or treatment plan, ask for clarification. A good provider should be willing to explain their reasoning and answer your questions.
- Speak up
If you feel rushed, dismissed, or confused, consider saying:
“I’m not sure I feel fully understood yet. Could we spend a few more minutes discussing this?”
Simple statements like this can redirect the conversation and encourage a more collaborative approach.
*If this kind of direct communication feels intimidating, give yourself a pre-appointment pep-talk and rehearse this statement out loud before the appointment. The Access Centre’s community advocacy program can help with this kind of preparation; helping you build the confidence to do it in real time.
- Bring an Advocate
A trusted friend or family member can help take notes, ask questions, tackle complicated forms and provide emotional support. Having another person present can make it easier to navigate difficult conversations.
- Escalate Concerns When Necessary
If you believe you’ve been treated unfairly or unprofessionally, there may be formal processes available through clinics, hospitals, patient advocates, or professional regulatory bodies. Sometimes speaking up can help improve care not only for yourself, but for others as well.
Conclusion
Negative experiences in healthcare can leave lasting feelings of shame, frustration, and distrust. These experiences may even discourage people from seeking help when they need it most.
While we cannot control the attitudes or behaviour of every healthcare provider, we can take steps to rebuild our confidence in navigating the system.
Understanding the roots of stigma can help reduce self-blame. Recognizing our role as active participants in our healthcare can restore a sense of agency. Preparing for appointments can give us practical tools to speak up for ourselves when challenges arise.
Trust in healthcare is not rebuilt overnight; it develops one interaction at a time. By approaching our care with preparation and confidence, we can begin to create safer and more empowering healthcare experiences for ourselves.